NOTHINGNESS

Have you ever had that feeling of wanting to enter into the ground or wishing you could disappear for a while?

A painful rejection usually brings on this type of feeling when you put yourself out there and get a cold stare from the red horned monster formally referred to as unrequited love.

Or going through a multistage recruitment process for the job of your dreams and being told, “Unfortunately, we decided to go with a different applicant….” at the 5th and final stage. It is brutal and can take several days to get over it.

How about getting waved at and waving back with enthusiasm only to realise that there is someone behind that the salutation was intended for and not you. How awkward, right? However, that’s nothing compared to the previous ones.

Lately I’ve been feeling the need to enter the void.

LET GO YOUR EARTHLY TETHER. ENTER THE VOID. EMPTY, AND BECOME WIND.

(Guru Laghima; Legend of Korra)

I’ve been exposed too many times to career rejections that leave the bitter taste of failure on every “unfortunately” email. Undeterred by the lack of foresight from recruiters, I keep putting myself in the same position with a renewed sense of necessity every day, so much so that it seems like I receive a rejection mail on the average per day.

It shouldn’t be this hard; It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “cost of living”. It’s even more costly when you live in a third world country that constantly comes up with innovative ways to make life even more frustrating for its citizens.

I show up every day because the voice in my head that drives me won’t grow quiet without a justifiable accomplishment.

However, there is a cushion that gives cadence to the yearnings for a better day – finding satisfaction in present moment awareness. This life-long journey into enlightenment would be covered in another piece; today, I could use an ability that allows me some form of escape into the void of nothingness.

Jay Jay